Difference

See, I could be writing about how great my Christmas was, something meaningful about this year, or whatever else I wanted to. However, before I do that, I have to get this one thing out, because I’ve been thinking about it for a couple days. I’ll probably post one of those Christmasy/end of year posts tomorrow (or the next day or the next day or the next…).

There is this girl in my school who is as close to perfection as you can get. No lie. Varsity in two sports by sophomore year. One of the prettiest girls in our school with a boyfriend in college (graduated last year). Was in the top five of our class last year (I’m not sure about this year, but she’s still up there, probably top ten). She’s popular and everyone adores her and are always saying she’s such as nice, sweet, good person.

Just as school let out for the summer, I pondered how unfair this was. I didn’t have a boyfriend-was terrified before that summer to speak to any guy. That changed that summer of course. I was behind her in class rank (not too far of course, but still behind). I desperately wanted to be Varsity but couldn’t train enough that summer and got put on JV again (the only junior). I was ugly and socially awkward.

And there is always this condescending nature about her. She’ll be nice to whoever she wants to be nice to, but when she’s around me, she barely recognizes my existance. Whereas most of the girls on the soccer team who are popular and bubbly would stir up conversation with me, she doesn’t talk to me even if we are partners for the same drill except to say “Square” or “Drop”. What’s worse is her facebook page. Full of pictures of her gorgeousness and her smooching her boyfriend. They’re constantly posting on each other’s walls. Now, granted, lots of couples do this, and the only reason it bothers me above everyone else is because, well, it’s her. So I might be a little biased there.

But the worse thing on her facebook page is her disgusting facebook posts about herself.

“My class rank is 305.” and in the comments below “305 minus 300”. Does anyone else put their rank on facebook? I don’t think so.

“Scored a 1850 on the SAT first shot. NBD 🙂 ”

And her talking about how it sucked that the college recruiter got to see her worst game.

Really?

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not as perfect as her, but it’s not like I’m incomparable. I’ve taken her spot in class rank and then some (not valedictorian of course, psh, I’m not that smart…yet). I’m pushing through an ACL injury to try to get back to soccer. My boyfriend might not be a soccer-playing, smarty-pants hot college guy who poses with me in facebook pictures-he’s better. I’m beautiful in my own way and popular with the few who really matter to me.

The most important difference between us is in our personalities. For her, she never had to work for anything and I’ve had to give 110% just to be where I am now. She’s rich and could have whatever she wants-SAT tutors, SAT classes, as many sport camps and trainers as she wants-and I’m on the poor side and have to come from myself to do all of these things on my own. She’s condescending and looks down on people like me. And nowadays, I don’t really care about her (despite the fact I just wrote a whole blog post about her). This summer and the beginning of this year has taught me too much to still care. I’m going to do some amazing things in my life, and wasting my time to compare myself to someone like her?

Not worth it.

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