This Made Me Happy

With so much crazy stuff going on in my life, this blog really helped to give me something to work for, that was completely my own. I was lacking this aspect of my life, and getting back to blogging, and blogging more regularly, was very beneficial to me.

In other news, this month I’ve had my most views ever, with 95 views over 35 visitors, beating my record of 94 views in one month that I achieved exactly one year ago. I’m not sure how much that is in comparison to other bloggers, or if that is good or anything, but it certainly is an achievement to me. Besides, I don’t particularly care as much that tons of people view my blog as much that I care that I am blogging and allowing an outlet for my thoughts.

However, it’s really cool to think that people have been following, liking, and looking at my thoughts and writing, and I have to thank anyone who has ever come to this site for giving me something to look forward to when I’m feeling down. I’m going to try to keep posting every other day or so, because I really enjoy it, even if I just post a picture or a quote or something.

Additionally, I might be making a tumblr version of my blog, or linking the two blogs together. I recently signed up for tumblr (my friend, who also blogs, persuaded me to).  Tumblr seems to be teeming with bloggers and people willing to read other people’s thoughts, so maybe I’ll be able to get what I want to say out to more people. I haven’t spent much time on Tumblr yet, but I’m going to try to find time over the weekend between schoolwork and the SAT to figure it out.

Thanks again,



The Chase

I remember faintly,

like the whispers of a dream,

the days when I pulled you close

and you never once let go.


But I need to feel wanted,

To know that you still care;

through unfortunate events

my welcome seemed to pass.


I should have let you know

I’m the kind of person who

wants others to ask me stay

whenever I try to pull away.


And you seemed to notice this before

and even when I faltered

you never once broke your firm hold

even when I acted cold.


but recently

as I’ve fallen sadder and sadder

you’ve seemingly suddenly forgot

our bond without a second thought.


I must ask more of you:

Please tell me if I’m at fault.

reveal what I’ve done wrong

disclose what’s going on.


I’m afraid to let you go

because I truly care

and I’d gladly chase after you

if you chase after me too.

You Started It

Not  sure what style I was going for, but that’s okay. I just felt like writing a peom, and though this is my first draft, I like it. Whether you do or not, that’s your choice, and though I’d love you to like it, I honestly don’t care.

I’m not here to say

I’m without fault

I did my share to tear this down

To chase the sun away

But you started it

And I’ll stick to this ideal

Like a little kid again

Tired of all this

You were the one

Who put the walls up first

Tall, gray, foreboding

Building until they were done

I don’t remember what event

set me off first

So, in no apparent order

I’ll list them in a rant

That’s all I can do anyway

You made me jealous intentionally

Even when I asked you to stop

You frustrated me and made me sad

Even when you didn’t mean to

I guess that’s not your fault

But still it happened all the same

You’re not supposed to make me sad


I’m confused and really don’t know

What else there is to say

Except for the words I dread to release

That tell you to go away.

My Memorial Day

Yay obligatory Memorial Day post. If you think I’m being self-centered and only writing about my day while ignoring the true reason for celebrations on this day, read through to the bottom of the post.

Unfortunately I spent most of the day with a horrible headache, honestly one of the worst I’ve had in a long time. Like the silly Americans we are, my family took advantage of the deals this weekend and went looking for a new truck for my mom. My mom gets a new truck, my dad gets the old truck, and I get the Chevy cobalt to drive this summer to my job that I just found out I acquired. They ended up haggling with some Chevy salesmen (we had looked at GMC too, but they were fancier and more expensive) and got a new black Silverado.

This took some time though, and by the time they had signed for the truck, I was hungry and getting a headache. When we picked up my friends and boyfriend to go to my grammy’s pool for the day, it was horrendous. I took some sinus decongestant and tried eating, but the meds made me sickish, so I couldn’t eat much. Nevertheless, I had a good time with them all. We got in our bathing suits and tried to enjoy the freezing cold water, most of us only getting half way in before surrendering to the comfort of a floatie.

We had hamburgers and hot dogs, and watermelon, grapes, and chips. We chatted with my aunt, who had stopped by for some food, and listened to country music, me belting out whatever lyrics I knew (I knew a lot in fact). I watched my friends play badminton until I couldn’t bear standing on the sidelines and, despite my overwhelming headache, participated. We sat by the pool talking, joking, and watching as one of my friends and my sister took turns doing another friend’s hair.

We had some homemade cheesecake and laid in the sun before taking one more lap around the pool, just cause we could. After that we took them all home. I laid on the couch with a warm compressant and fell asleep, waking up only to right this, get in my pj’s, and go to bed. Though I’m not a person who tans well (I mostly burn), I think I got some color.

Some people say that, on days such as this, writing some big speech on the internet, such as on Facebook, is hypocritical because people don’t care about the issue on any other day. But, I think that I’m someone who respects military personnel every day.  I proudly say the pledge every day, while my fellow classmates seem to think it’s some kind of unnecessary chore. Some of my favorite songs (all country music, by the way) are tributes to soldiers, such as “American Soldier” by Toby Keith, which is definitely the best one of all, “8th of November” by Big and Rich, and “I Just Came Back From a War” by Daryll Worley.

Furthermore, in my prayers at night, I ask God to watch over the all U.S. troops, living and deceased, and to bring them home safely. Now this whole speech wasn’t to boast how great an American I am, but just to give myself some backing for this post. No, not everyone who writes those “obligatory memorial day posts” or “obligatory mother’s day posts” or commenting on a tragedy don’t care. Some do.

Therefore, I’d like to thank all the service men and women who have served in our country. I can vaguely understand how much you have given, because my great uncle (well, a lot of my family) have served, and though I won’t go into detail I see the physical and mental suffering he has endured. But even then, I cannot fully comprehend the sacrifice given. I could ramble on and on, but I don’t think it’s completely necessary; I think a simple but full-heartfelt thank you can suffice to express the immense gratitude I feel.

So thank you so much.

Thank God for Dogs

Today was a fairly interesting day. The morning began when I walked downstairs and into the kitchen. My dad quietly told me to look to the door, where a little baby robin was sitting in the heart-shaped wreath hanging on our backdoor. It was simply sitting there chirping away, and every now and then it’s mama or daddy would fly over to it and feed it some worms. I sat in the kitchen enjoying the cute little scene with my dad.

Unfortunately for my mom and sister, the only thing that remained when they came downstairs for breakfast was bird poo on the door. Early risers 1, late sleepers zero.

For the first time in over a week I wrote in my journal. I have not been keeping up with my journal, mostly because I barely have enough motivation to do the obligatory mundane chores of life, like homework, chores…that’s pretty much it. I should really change that. I’ve been pretty sad lately, so I was happy to rant in my journal for a bit. I should write more tonight.

This afternoon my mom, dad, and little sister went to her soccer tournament. I wish I went, but I told them I “had things to get done”. In actuality I ended up watching the UEFA final between Bayern Munich and Dortmund in between SAT subject test practice tests for biology and world history. To my pleasure, Bayern won 2-1. So many cute Germans, so little time. Plus, I have been to Munich, great city, so many things to see and do.

Anyway, I was home alone and none of the doors were locked. I hear a knock on the door and Demon, my German Shepherd (my mom picked out the name) ran to the door, barking like crazy. It was some guy who I didn’t know who was looking down at Demon, talking to him, asking if he was going to let him in. Demon barked and barked and I bet looked pretty ferocious, because as lovable as he is, he’s still a big dog who doesn’t enjoy strangers, especially strange men. So the man walked away, and I ran upstairs to see if there was anyone else. There was another man and two little girls who all retreated into a black car that had been parked in my driveway and drove away.

Not surprisingly, this scared me, and so I went and locked all the doors before praising Demon for being such a good boy. If he hadn’t been there, well, I don’t know how sinister the men with two little girls were, but it made me feel a lot better that I had Demon there to protect me. Please enjoy a picture or two of my favorite doggy and a cute picture I must have found…er…somewhere.