I’m still indecisive.
I don’t know if I’m playing soccer next year, now more so due to possible conflicts between school, soccer, volunteering, and other pursuits (including writing). Additionally, I haven’t practiced in two months and don’t want to let my team down-but I can work hard toward that. The aspect of not playing next year is a little hard to take. Hopefully going to the meeting Tuesday will help clear things up.
With so many things going through my mind, I need to remember that all of this is normal and okay. My life will undoubtedly be affected by the choice I make; however, neither choice would be terrible and would have its own benefits.
I was having a serious fit of indecision last night, and talking to my friend, for once, didn’t ease the anxiety. When I woke up this morning, I writhed in bed for a little bit, angry and confused about what I wanted to do. In the end, I looked to my board of motivation and reminded myself I needed to make myself happy.
And what made me happy at that moment was going downstairs in my cellar and working out for about an hour. It felt really good. My legs have been hurting me lately, and I thought it would make them worse, but it honestly helped. Though I began to have my doubts about seriously coming back from “oh I’m not going to play” for two or three months to complete and utter dedication.
In short, it’s still all up in the air.
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream” (C. S. Lewis)