this is me


Feeling Optimistic

I’ve started “applying” to colleges. By “applying” I mean looking over the applications, glancing in terror at the essays I’m expected to write, and calling it a day. Someone told me that though college essays seem really daunting at first, you just need to read the prompt and, through the course of every day living, you’ll get an idea.

And guess what-it worked! And who knew that discussing how The Stranger resembles Bohemian Rhapsody with my friend at the beach and this blog would help me with my essays! So for all my fellow college-appliers out there, take the advice I was given, and simply relax-it will all come together. You know, just don’t completely procrastinate.

One of my applications has a sort of short answer section. For one question, you have to pick a novel and explain why you would be excited to discuss that book with a classmate if accepted. That’s where The Stranger and all its intrigue comes in. Personally, I think it’s creative my friend and I (well, mostly me) connected The Stranger to Bohemian Rhapsody, so I figure that is worth mentioning.

Another question for the same college asks each applicant to recount a time when they stood up against something that angered them. Since I’m somewhat afraid of direct confrontation, I thought I would never be able to recall such an event. However, don’t I rant all the time on this blog? That certainly demonstrates me expressing outrage over something and attempting to spread my opinion into the online community.

I mean…right? One of the reasons I’m throwing this out there is to see if one of you takes the time to comment and tell me my ideas are terrible (or good. That would be nice).

Thankfully I’ve got quite some time before these applications have to be finalized, though I wanted to get a nice jump on things. After September 9th, I’ll be swamped between schoolwork and soccer until early November, so expect fewer blog posts around that time.

I probably won’t go Early Decision on any school-even if it would give me an extra advantage. I’m too indecisive and if a college won’t accept me in Regular Decision, I will use my talents elsewhere (insert sassy snap here).

There are quite a few colleges I’m planning on applying to. Johns Hopkins University is probably my top choice, though Dartmouth, Wake Forest University, and University of Rochester are close behind. Of course, there’s that dream of going to Princeton, so I might as well apply there too. I’ll also be applying to some in-state places such as TCNJ and Rutgers. I’m additionally considering Gettysburg College, University of Pittsburgh, and Arcadia.

Hmm so I’ve still got some cutting back to do. All in good time I suppose.

100th Post!


This is pretty cool. I’ve been blogging for over a year, and I sincerely love having a medium to share my thoughts and written pieces. Regardless of  how many people have followed this blog or seen it, I’m proud of my work and am thankful to anyone who has ever commented, liked, followed, or encouraged me in any way.

I didn’t really have anything super special planned, just another catch up unoriginal post about what’s going on in my life right now. Lately I’ve been really sad, and the fact that I waste so much time being miserable makes me even sadder. I haven’t been blogging as much as I wanted because of such feelings.

However, today I’m taking initiative to hopefully reach out to people who can help me. I wrote this little letter to my mom for when she comes home from work, explaining how I’ve been feeling, just to let her know what’s going on.

I’ve been having relationship issues-just a lot of hoopla. Soccer has also been stressing me out, as I struggle for playing time on my school’s Varsity team. But I’m going to really put effort into trying to relax, do my best to fix these issues, and not worry so much. I just can’t help it sometimes-I’m a worry wart.

Today my parking pass also came in the mail. For my high school, seniors get the privilege of driving to school and having a parking spot reserved for them, and I finally found out what spot I have. So, naturally, I drove my butt to my school to scope out my new spot with my little sister, who is going to be a freshmen and my passenger for the school year.

The concept of being a senior is slowing creeping in as I attempt to start college applications, drive around in my parents hand me down car, and get my senior parking pass. I really want to have a spectacular last year of high school and always live up to my full potential. Even more important, I want to have fun and be happy.

Thanks again to any and all of my readers! Here’s to another 100 posts!

Side by Side-A Poem

This poem actually took quite a bit of rewriting, and will probably need some more.  It’s got a few unintentional i mean i totally meant to have a few little rhymes in there. But other than that it’s freehand.

We used to walk

Side by side

on the ground.


We’d look to the sky

and I would exclaim

how wonderful it must be

to soar above it all

and how the ground was so cold

and the morning sky so gloriously warm

and the sunset triumphantly painted red.


And I told you

I didn’t want to fly

If you weren’t at my side.

But you just laughed


And shook your head.

When the time came for me

To set off into the clouds

I reached for your hand

But you stayed firmly grounded

And we had to say goodbye.


I looked up into the blue;

departure wasn’t…too hard

It was easy for you to say farewell

Why shouldn’t it be the same for me?

And at once I began to fly

Without you at my side.


I thought I’d be alone

Flying through the air

But I found others soaring there

And was always in company.

But every now and then

I’d look towards the ground, see you there

And miss you terribly.


After years of flying high

I looked to the ground once more

And saw you lying there

Cold.  Gone.

I flew back down

Scared and sad again

Just like the day of our goodbyes.


Glancing around, I realized

I remembered

The ground had not been so cold

And the scenery beautiful

When we had been together

Side by side.

Hello All

Sorry about my long hiatus. I went on vacation with my best fwiend for the first week of August, and had a total blast. Literally, I did not have to deal with any of the issues I’ve been struggling with lately and felt completely content, except for one unfortunate night (though I was able to recover quickly).

However, I came back on the 10th, so why haven’t I posted since then, almost a week later? Well, everyone knows that coming back from vacation pretty much sucks. Mix that in with a ton of stress, such as not realizing you have preseason this week and not remembering to tell your boss about it, in addition to emotions that have been bouncing around for who knows how long…so yeah, it sucked.

I have a regular pattern of highs and lows, but this was my lowest low ever. I completely wanted to stop time, stop everything, and just fade away. Or die. I will not withhold that suicide crossed my mind more than I’d like to say. I missed two days of work, and instead of just telling my mom, I pretended to go to work and would drive around for an hour or so until she left for work.

I’ve had some rocky relationship issues recently too, with my family and my boyfriend (details purposefully eclipsed here). However, I’ve gotten the chance to open up again to my best friends, which is helping me. And, though I thought soccer would stress me too much (and at times it does) I usually come home from practice in a fantastic mood.

I’ve come to realize just how much of my summer I’ve wasted feeling angry and depressed. I really don’t want that to become a norm for me.

I’ll hopefully be getting back to a regular schedule of posting blogs, though it will definitely be more difficult with soccer going into Hell Week-which means double sessions every other day-and school starting within a few weeks. I’ll be a senior =D