I love greeting people with howdy. So, howdy y’all, I have not blogged in a long time, due to a mixture of so much to do in so little time, between schoolwork and soccer, and, when I do have spare time, often being too unmotivated to write, which is quite upsetting.
I do not know if readers have recognized this yet, but I have been seeing a psychologist for the treatment of depression and anxiety (I could go back and see if I ever blatantly mentioned this, but I’m far too lackadaisical). Last night was a pretty exhausting session, but I’m attempting to be hopeful and say I’m recovering and moving forward.
Interjection for a funny little story:
One day I was at the psychologist, and I brought up how even when I make minute mistakes, they can make me feel stupid in the most upsetting way possible. After discussing the matter for a few minutes, she began to ask me some seemingly random questions. She inquired if, whenever I have to clean a room (her example was a living room), I was upset if everything was not put back in exactly the same spot as I had found it. I of course, responded no, because it does not bother me.
Then she asked if I kept my room neat, which I overtly laughed at, because my room could be considered a war zone some days.
At first, I was vaguely interested in why she was asking me these questions, wondering if this was going to become some grand metaphor that held the key to curing depression and conveyed the meaning of life. She continued to question me. Did I count in an unusual way? If I stepped on a crack did I have to step back and go over it again without stepping on the crack?
Then I’m like…wait…does she think I have OCD? I sort of laughed internally at the thought, and whatever path she was treading upon she must have abandoned after I answered the questions, because she did not bring it up again. But just now I looked up legitimate symptoms of OCD, and I actually have some of them…but then again, for a time I was also convinced I have borderline personality disorder or bipolar disorder, so it’s not like self diagnosis is useful in any way.
Homecoming was a little over a week ago, I think (the past month or so is a big blur). I went with my girlfriends who took quite some time to get ready, and then we had to wait for my one friend’s parental units to arrive to ogle her, so we were sort of late. My boyfriend had to wait outside in the cold (poor guy). But it was fun and I danced a lot with my boyfriend and with my friends. My boyfriend and I have been going out for about a year now; though we do not have an official start date, we were first most evidently a couple at the homecoming dance last year.
My one best friend went with a boy who was apparently flirting with a ton of girls-and did not recognize the fact all the girls were friends and would inform each other of his shenanigans. So, whenever he attempted to dance with her, I would place my hands on his chest, gently push him away, stand between them, and dance with her. And it worked quite nicely, especially with my other best friend also partaking in this activity.
Before the dance I warned my boyfriend of the situation, and I told him that, if I saw the kid, I would need to him to hold me back (to, yanno, prevent me from murdering him). So, as we were waiting in line to get into the dance, I turned and saw the boy, and started slapping the crap out of my boyfriend, telling him repeatedly to “hold me back”…it took him a moment to understand, so it was just me grabbing his arm and shouting at him to “hold me back”. Must have been an amusing scene. During the dance he kept turning us so I was as far away from the boy as possible.
All I can say is good riddance to a bad seed.
So what else have I been up to? Soccer mostly. I have (mostly) accepted my position as team benchwarmer (along with a fellow senior), and now it’s the postseason, so there are a few more players the coach brought up from Junior Varsity to theoretically play with us, but they usually just sit the bench with me. However, I have been chosen as a penalty kicker if the need arises, which is a frightening thought, especially after today when, during practice, I only made one out of four shots.
My team was ranked 16th out of 16 seeds in our group, and we faced the number one team on Tuesday.
And won. =D
It was an amazing thing to behold-even if I did not get to play, I felt like a part of the team. We move on to the second round tomorrow and play a pretty tough team. I’m just praying it does not go to penalty kicks.
Well, enough rambling for one night. Hopefully I’ll have more time soon to blog consistently. Tchuss!