Writing Poetry for the First Time in Forever

I haven’t been very motivated to write much lately, and when I am the creative impulse never seems to spark. However, today I managed to write something I feel is good enough (and by that I mean awful) to share. Because this was only written an hour or so ago, there will be plenty of editing as time passes on. For now, enjoy, and comment editorially if you can! Aaand because I am terrible with technology and can never seem to get the stanza’s separated, I used asterisks to mark where stanzas begin/end.

Release 

Where is it?

Where did it

go?

*

Distractions

to calm

a churning mind.

*

Man delights me not

and Himmel neither.

Nothing.

*

It’s all insipid

irrelevant

sharp

pointless.

This Quote is Gonna Be Famous One Day

I was working on my AP English homework (for once, not procrastinating) and I was reading  Perrine’s Literature Structure, Sound, and Sense, 8th Edition. It essentially states poetry does more than communicate information; it communicates a variety of experiences and caters to more than the intellectual dimension.

At the same time, I was texting my boyfriend, talking about how my therapist had asked what my boyfriend and I had in common….which isn’t a lot. It’s sort of crazy how little we have in common. My therapist kept asking if we liked the same music or movies, or had the same sense of style, and I answered with either a  “no” or an “eh sort of”.

Anyway, as my boyfriend and I discussed how we had very little in common, I thought about why I like him so much. A large part of it is that he exposes me to experiences, or dimensions, I would never have encountered had I not befriended him. In fact, looking at my relationships with my other friends and even my sister, all of the people close to me add so much more to my life than I could attain as an single person.

That was when I had a moment of unintentional brilliance, and came up with the following quote.

“The best relationships are those which add another dimension to one’s life” 

-wiggygirl3 (unless someone else has already come up with it and I don’t know about it)

Ha, no stalkers getting my name today!

My boyfriend exposes me to really interesting (albeit unnecessary) facts and an amazing sense of selflessness. My one best friend exposes me to Broadway and taught me the concept of always being there for those you love at any given moment. My other best friend exposes  me to awesome books and taught me  it’s totally possible to enjoy silence with loved ones without any awkwardness. My little sister exposes me to new music and taught me how to love someone without crowding their personal space.

All of them have exposed me to and (hopefully) made me more accepting of divergent ways of thinking and living. I am eternally grateful for their impact on my life.

I’m not certain no one else has come up with this quote or a saying similar to “mine” (I’m using quotations because I don’t know if I actually have the right to call it my original idea). I did a quick Google search (of course) and I can’t find any quote exactly similar…so I hope it’ll be okay.

If this is indeed my own, original thought…it’s gonna be famous one day.

Maybe.

10 Writing Tips From Ernest Hemingway, God Bless Him

There are so many excellent tips here I spent about ten minutes trying to pick my favorite(s) before giving up!

boy with a hat

Ernest Hemingway Photo

Want some advice from one of the most influential writers of the 20th century, a man who almost got blown to bits during WWI, hunted lions for sport, survived two consecutive plane crashes, had four wives, and blew out his brains?

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I Am Invisible

Yesterday my AP English class finished reading Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison (named after Ralph Waldo Emerson).

[Insert happy spaz attack here].

Though I started the novel pessimistic, because it seemed to me just a book about racism, as the plot progressed and the narrator learned more about himself and began to rant more and actually think about things, it was phenomenal. I completely stand by my teacher’s opinion of the book, that every high school senior should read Invisible Man. The discussion of personal identity and invisibility is important for any adolescent about to embark into the “real world”.

That last sentence of the Epilogue…I read it, read it again, and then said (out loud), “…well damn.” No spoilers in this post so I will not display the last sentence-just go read the book!

Invisible Man, because of the deep ideological issues it presents, has forced me to evaluate my own invisibility. And,  to some extent, I am invisible.

In my school, I know of quite a few people, many of which who do not personally know me. I have observed on numerous occasions that, if I sneeze in class, no one will utter the obligatory “God bless you” or whatever. Then, a few minutes later, someone else will sneeze and at least five people bless them. The only exception to this is in AP English-we only have ten students in that class, all girls, and we’re sort of like a little family.

I often will add a comment to a conversation I am having with a few people, and no one will respond to my statement or question or even acknowledge I said anything with eye contact or a small laugh or nod. This not only happens with acquaintances and semi-friends, but my own family, other than my little sister, who is a blessing to me.

In Invisible Man, the narrator, whom we called “E” because one of my teacher’s previous classes adamantly believed Invisible Man was a sort of autobiography for Ellison, believes he is invisible because white society refuses to see him. Does society refuse to see me?

I might not be so invisible after all (or maybe I’m just disillusioning myself like E). On a smaller scale, I have been recognized by my school community for academics and crap like that. I have quite a few friends and my little sister who constantly listen to me, recognize me, and love me. In Invisible Man, though E seems to have some sort of friendship with Clifton, he does not really express love for anyone. Even with Clifton, he simply relates how Clifton is a great leader.

So, is that the key to finding visibility? Love? Maybe not in society’s eyes, but I suppose to combat personal feelings of invisibility one finds those who love them.

Anyway, as far as society goes, I don’t know how to judge how invisible I am. I have never encountered anyone on a television show or movie who seems in any way similar to myself-teenage girls are usually depicted as either:

  • perfect (beautiful, athletic, smart, talented)
  • a physically big bully
  • a beautiful but stereotypical ‘mean girl’
  • beautiful but ignorant
  • a tom-boy tough girl
  • or a quiet, awkward, sometimes pretty nerd/geek

This is why novels are so superior to television and movies. The characters can actually be developed to be complex instead of just fitting one of the above stereotypes. If we are going by that standard, society, though more so pop culture, does not recognize me.

Though this novel does not count as one my 25 books of 2014 (because I had already read half of it before Christmas break), I am very pleased I had the chance to explore Invisible Man with my English class. Once again, this book is a must-read for any of my fellow high school seniors because of E’s search for a personal identity and other ideological questions proposed by the novel.

Pet Peeves

While I’m avoiding my English essay and Chemistry homework, I’ve decided to talk about a few things that make me want to punch people in the face.

Aren’t I a wonderful human being? I’m realizing I could probably think of a lot, but these are the main four (in no particular order) that really seem to not only crawl beneath my skin but create completely irrational anger within me.

1) When people do not know general geography.

Now, I’m not an expert in geography, and I don’t expect people to know where insignificant cities or countries are located; however, I do not understand why so many people act like they’ve never seen a map before. For example, while we were still in middle school, my best friend thought Spain was in Mexico.

My one friend just laughed when she said this, but I completely freaked out (it was somewhat uncalled for). I suppose I have to blame American schools systems (maybe not all of them, but many of the ones I am familiar with) for not spending more time studying geography. Granted, many things are more useful, important, and require high-level thinking rather than memorization, and who wants to memorize a map when they can look everything up on their phone?

Still, doesn’t anyone else think we should have some basic knowledge of where things are? I’d think that would be important. Wouldn’t it be offensive to someone from Spain to ask them what it’s like to live in Mexico? Either you offend them or they just think you’re an idiot.

2) People who do not respect the opinions of others.

I will admit that, on most subjects, I’ve grown to not be very opinionated, because I clearly see the pros and cons of each side. Besides, most things in life that people fight over are completely subjective, such as which music is best. However, I wish more people would be at least respectful when voicing their thoughts.

One sore subject between myself and another student whom I don’t see much of anymore is religion. He is an atheist and I’m Catholic, and when I told him this he decided that it was appropriate to bring it up EVERY single time I talked to him. I didn’t even try to fight it; I just smiled and nodded or tried to joke whenever he started ranting, but though I think I kept pretty cool on the surface, inside I was ready to smash my AP Biology book (which has to weigh at least 10 pounds) across his head.

Please just chill, okay? I don’t mind when people have different beliefs than me (in any subject, not just religion), and I know some people like to argue. But if the other person isn’t actually debating back, why do you feel the need to attack their beliefs?

3) Judging others.

This is a pretty common pet peeve, but everyone still does it. I know, I’ve done it before. However, I have a very specific version of this pet peeve. I abhor when people judge each other while in church.

(Time to be all Catholic on everyone…sort of).

When you are in church, you are essentially in God’s house. God does not want you to judge or hate others or stare maliciously at them while they file into your pew ten minutes late for Mass. You don’t know what’s going on in their life. Since I’ve been depressed, that old saying, that you should be kind to everyone because you don’t know what they are dealing with, has really sunk in. That person could have had to drag themselves out of bed, mustering some sort of motivation to get to Mass. They could have depression, social anxiety, or have just lost a loved one. You just don’t know.

4)  Perfect people.

Have you ever met someone who seems so ridiculously smart, athletic, talented, pretty, well-spoken and friendly that it cannot be real? Those people make me want to ram my head into a wall. Some people I can deal with, especially if they are unconditionally nice-then it’s okay for them to be perfect. But when I know that this girl or guy is mean and/or condescending, I can’t help but be irritated and angry.

Condescending. I love that word. I know some people like that, and I hate it. Especially when everyone else seems to love that person, and I can only ask myself why they do not see how absolutely condescending they are, like other people (usually me) are below them.

Considering what I just wrote for number 3, I am a complete hypocrite. I have been trying to control this burning anger at so-called “perfect people” because, in reality, neither they nor their lives are perfect.

Anyone else have pet peeves like mine? Maybe?

New Year’s Goals

Instead of making a single New Year’s Resolution, I like to make a list of goals for the new year.

1) Read 25 books by the end of the year. That gives me a span of about 2 books a month, but I like the number 25 better than 24 (for some reason).

2) Visit 12 of the places from my book 1,000 Places To See Before You Die. I got it for Christmas and the idea of attempting to complete this massive list completely enthralls me. I’ve been to a few already, which is pretty cool.

3) Get a job .

4)  Maintain all A’s.

5) Continue to blog and write regularly.

6) Memorize Hamlet’s To Be or Not To Be soliloquy, both the more popular Folio version and the First Quarto version. I personally don’t like the Second Quarto one, so I’m choosing not to memorize that one.

7) Hold an end-of-school-year and/or end-of-summer camp out with my closest friends in my backyard.

8) Go to Wildwood with my friends over the summer-without parents. My mom already said she might allow this, because we have a family friend who has a house there, but in the quieter area of town. My friends and I are all goody-two-shoes and responsible so this doesn’t worry me too much.

9) Exercise at least 5 times a week.

10) Learn to straighten my hair. Yes, I am a high school senior who does not know how to straighten her hair. I’ve never really cared about it, my hair is naturally pretty straight or I just put it up in a ponytail, and my mom was always willing to do it for me on the rare occasions I wanted to straighten it.

11) Upload all my pictures from my camera and start actually using it. If I only I could find that cord…

So those are the not-so-deep goals for the year, and most of them are quantitative. Now for the most important goal.

12) Be happy.

This includes learning to live with the depression I’ve been dealing with.  It also includes doing what I want to do, not what people expect of me. This means not being afraid to do activities or new things simply because I’m afraid of what other people will think of me. It means I start to learn about what I personally want from life, and work from there.

Happy 2014 everyone!