My Doll’s Eyes

Here’s a new piece I’ve been working on the past few days. It’ll probably go through more edits, but here is what I have so far.

My doll has bright eyes

and my eyes are their reflection

as we innocently spend our days

playing out our jubilation.

*

My doll’s eyes are dimmer

and therefore mine comply;

we play a little less each day

and my breaths have learned to sigh.

*

My doll’s eyes grow dimmer still

and mine will do the same;

though We no longer have fun

We still play silly games.

*

My doll’s eyes are dust-ridden.

The grime has covered their shine

the brightness completely abandoned

the luster lost in time.

*

And my eyes are no different;

they’ve surrendered their childish light.

If I wipe the dust away,

will it work for me too?

*

Whose eyes reflect whose?

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Hopeful

Another work in progress, which I wrote yesterday and edited today.

*****

Blizzard is melting,

Robins are belting

out their piece,

a jubilant song.

*

Mounds, please melt-

do not turn to flood.

Cardinals, please mark

longer days.

*

Sunshine, descend

upon me again;

radiate my shell

and be my cure.

*

It may not work;

Snow might remain

and birds may not change

their melancholy song.

*

But I’m hoping

and I’m praying

with my troubled faith

that was all that was wrong.

*

Though I think my gut and

my perturbed heart

know

that was not all that was wrong.

Writing Poetry for the First Time in Forever

I haven’t been very motivated to write much lately, and when I am the creative impulse never seems to spark. However, today I managed to write something I feel is good enough (and by that I mean awful) to share. Because this was only written an hour or so ago, there will be plenty of editing as time passes on. For now, enjoy, and comment editorially if you can! Aaand because I am terrible with technology and can never seem to get the stanza’s separated, I used asterisks to mark where stanzas begin/end.

Release 

Where is it?

Where did it

go?

*

Distractions

to calm

a churning mind.

*

Man delights me not

and Himmel neither.

Nothing.

*

It’s all insipid

irrelevant

sharp

pointless.

Poetry Survey!

I will be entering a poetry contest soon, and have to have four different pieces to enter. Hopefully I’m going to be writing more this week; however, out of all the poems I have, which do you like the most?

I realize now how many poems I have written and shared here, and if you need to go back and read through them, go to the sidebar, go to Categories, and then find where it says “Poetry By Me”.

Thanks!

Side by Side-A Poem

This poem actually took quite a bit of rewriting, and will probably need some more.  It’s got a few unintentional i mean i totally meant to have a few little rhymes in there. But other than that it’s freehand.

We used to walk

Side by side

on the ground.

.

We’d look to the sky

and I would exclaim

how wonderful it must be

to soar above it all

and how the ground was so cold

and the morning sky so gloriously warm

and the sunset triumphantly painted red.

.

And I told you

I didn’t want to fly

If you weren’t at my side.

But you just laughed

.

And shook your head.

When the time came for me

To set off into the clouds

I reached for your hand

But you stayed firmly grounded

And we had to say goodbye.

.

I looked up into the blue;

departure wasn’t…too hard

It was easy for you to say farewell

Why shouldn’t it be the same for me?

And at once I began to fly

Without you at my side.

.

I thought I’d be alone

Flying through the air

But I found others soaring there

And was always in company.

But every now and then

I’d look towards the ground, see you there

And miss you terribly.

.

After years of flying high

I looked to the ground once more

And saw you lying there

Cold.  Gone.

I flew back down

Scared and sad again

Just like the day of our goodbyes.

.

Glancing around, I realized

I remembered

The ground had not been so cold

And the scenery beautiful

When we had been together

Side by side.

My Little Note-A Poem

Authors Note: For some people dealing with serious issues such as depression, suicidal thoughts, or self-harm, this poem may be “triggering”, so some caution is advised. 

I asked the rabbit on the lawn

why don’t you find shelter

instead of standing in the rain?

“To wash away the pain”.

 

I asked my mother on the porch

why’d you start smoking again?

“To make all the stress and pain,

all of it, fade away”.

 

I asked my boyfriend on the couch

why he used the screwdriver

in his own special way?

“To bleed out the pain”.

 

So if they wonder when I’m gone

what went through my mind,

I’ll leave a little note that will simply say

“To kill all the pain”.

In a Bad Place

This weekend, from about Friday around 4pm until yesterday evening, I was in a pretty bad state of mind, as you can see by this poem I wrote Friday night.

Help me

Anybody

Somebody please help me

I don’t know where to go from here

There’s darkness clouding my mind

And I’m drowning in the fear

 

But no one even turns their head

And I’m left alone once again

 

But I’m back now. Saturday I went to Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, Maryland with my family because they had an information session/campus tour for prospective students. This is probably my number 1 college right now-like seriously, walking around felt like I could actually belong there. The issue, of course, is getting in, because it’s a top notch school.

The sucky thing is, from what I’ve gathered, they only look at the Critical Reading and Math sections of SAT, which I got 650’s on for a total of 1300/1600 (which is eh in my opinion, considering the quality of the school). I got a 760 on my writing portion. Yeah, fantastic. I have some options for making it work though, and of course SAT scores aren’t the only thing. I have really good grades from junior year (and all years I suppose) so I’m hoping for the best.

Plus it’s the number 1 research university in the nation, and receives the most funding from the federal government to support this, which means that I’ll have opportunities to pursue my own interests inside biology in addition to classwork. The campus is the perfect size, Baltimore is a phenomenal city, and it also has German, which I want to minor in.

It was my first college visit, and I really just fell in love.