A Pro of Breaking Up

It’s been a little over a month since my ex and I broke up. I would like to  report a full recovery, but this of course is not the case. I’ve thought about him almost every day, and recently there have been some pretty bad nights. Additionally, I’m not quite sure how to equate the break-up into discerning my levels of depression; I cannot decipher if my depression is making the break-up more difficult or if the break-up is making my depression worse. Or maybe both.

However, I have recently noticed how the break-up has helped me become closer to my friends (again). When I was still dating my ex, he was usually the first person I turned to whenever I had an issue  because I knew he would text back immediately. Now that I am dedicated to establishing (and enforcing) that post-breakup “space”, I find myself incessantly turning to my other friends for help. I am also spending more time with them, in and out of school, which has breached the distance between us.

For example, today in my lunch/lab technician period I was able to enjoy a 30+ minute conversation with my best friend about, among other things, the couples in her stories and our multiple OTPs (which of course destroys the purpose of a “ONE true pair”, but that hasn’t stopped anyone else). Last night we texted for about two hours, and we plan to take her prom dress shopping  (hopefully with our other friend) this weekend.

I still miss conversing with my ex, and will be grateful when, after the pain has waned, I can talk to him again. However, I am thoroughly enjoying my restored closeness with my best friends, and really hope they sense it too. I also hope they realize how sorry I am that while going out with my ex we were not as close as we should have been.

Lenten Progress Report: Well, I caved, and I am quite disappointed in myself. Though I did not venture into the depths of Tumblr, I listened and sang various songs which perpetuate my bad mood. However, I will not be discouraged and remember God love sinners, and I can redeem myself.

Another bad religious joke (courtesy of my little sister): Hey, do you wanna build an ark. I know-a (Noah) guy.

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MOM Day 29-Inspirational Songs

“Music can change the world because it can change people” (Bono). 

I’d like to share a couple songs that have helped me through times of doubt. Whenever I’m upset or stressed or afraid of failure, this songs help me to keep pushing forward.

This first song, “Determinate”, yes, is from the Disney channel movie “Lemonade Mouth”. Not a fan of the movie, but this song is one of my favorite songs to work out to. I think this year for soccer, when we do our timed 2 mile run, this is going to be my last song on my playlist, sort of as a “hurry up you’re almost out of time” warning. It just puts me in a good move, and I’ll probably be dancing to it as I run.

Second is “The Middle” by Jimmy Eat World. No lie my sister and I discovered this song playing guitar hero for the DS. But it makes me remember that, even if I’m not where I want to be now, work is in progress. It doesn’t matter what other people think or say as long as I’m working toward my goals and making myself happy.

Last is probably the most important song of the trio, “Drive” by Incubus. Again, funny story about how I discovered the song…I was watching Kendall Schmidt’s covers on YouTube and he did this song. This is especially imperative to overcoming my self-doubt and fear of failure. I could not be positive and optimistic without the aid of this song. I don’t know how else to express how beloved this song is to me.